Mathew IrelandI first felt God calling me to be a priest when I was about ten years old. One day I wandered into my local church, which happened to be open, found the priest, and announced, “God wants me to be a priest!” Looking back, it was an audacious thing for a ten-year-old to say. Thankfully, the priest took me seriously and gently told me that, if I was being called to be a priest, I would have to start attending Mass regularly. That was the beginning.I come from Caldicot and an unchurched family, but for as long as I can remember I’ve been drawn to God. I can still remember infant school assemblies and being completely fascinated by Jesus. Around the age of six or seven I found a Children’s Bible at my nan’s house and read the whole thing in no time. Not long after that, aged 8, I asked to be baptised.Joining St Mary’s in Caldicot in the early 90s shaped me deeply. I fell in love with the beauty of worship — the smell of incense, the sound of bells at the elevation during the prayer of consecration, the sense that something holy was happening at Mass. It made a deep impression on me then and still does now. I developed a strong devotion to Our Lady and to St Francis, both of whom have sustained me over the years through their prayers and example. Becoming a Franciscan tertiary later in life has only deepened this devotion. Franciscan spirituality has taught me to look for God in ordinary things — in people, in nature, in quietness, in simplicity, and in joy.That said, my journey hasn’t been straightforward. Due to life events and the study of philosophy, I got swept up in New Atheism. Ironically, that’s part of what led me into teaching Religious Education. I thought religion was dangerous and that learning about it would help protect people from it. God must have smiled at that!Looking back, I now think of those years as a kind of ‘feigned atheism’. I said I didn’t believe, but deep down I don’t think I ever really stopped searching for God — or being searched for by Him. I’d still find myself turning up at Mass from time to time or surreptitiously slipping into the cathedral for Evening Prayer. Something, or someone, kept drawing me back.One evening, while at Evening Prayer, I heard the Gospel where Jesus says he will make his disciples fishers of men. I knew, deep down, that God was speaking to me. Even then, I resisted. It took time. Quite a lot of time. But God is patient.What finally brought me back was, strangely enough, the teaching of philosophy — especially the philosophy of science and the writings of St. Aquinas. The more I studied, the more I realised that many of the New Atheist arguments were not nearly as strong as I’d thought. Around the same time, a priest I had admired when I was younger returned to the diocese. It felt like the right moment to come home.At my first Mass on returning to church, the readings included God calling out to Adam and Eve in the garden, “Where are you?” I remember hearing those words and feeling almost rooted to the spot. I was completely struck by them. I felt, very clearly, that God was speaking directly to me. It was as if He was saying, “Enough now. Stop running. It’s time.”That was the moment things changed.I had recently finished my Master’s degree and thought my future was going to be in senior leadership in education. God had other ideas. I began discerning ordination more seriously and eventually started training for Non-Stipendiary Ministry at St Padarn’s.One of the greatest joys of that journey has been establishing ‘Croesy Chosen’, the Christian group that began in my school. Watching young people encounter Christ has been humbling and genuinely moving. Teenagers are far more spiritually hungry than many people realise. Given the chance, many are searching deeply for meaning, truth, and love — which is really to say they are searching for Christ. Taking a group of them recently on pilgrimage to Rome and Assisi was one of the highlights of my life.Outside church, I’m Head of Religious Studies, which I love because it gives me the chance to talk daily about life’s biggest questions to some of the most interesting and exciting people. I also love walking, being outdoors, gardening, dogs, and going to the gym — all things that keep me grounded. My faith is deeply Franciscan, so creation matters to me. Outside of the Mass, I often feel closest to God in nature, walking and praying.I also wouldn’t be here without the support of my partner, who has walked this long road beside me with generosity, patience, and love. I’m deeply grateful to my partner, my family, to the clergy who have guided me over the years and, above all, to God — and to Our Lady and St Francis, whose prayers I am certain have sustained me more times than I know.As ordination draws near, I feel two things strongly: a deep sense of privilege and a deep sense of responsibility. If I thought this depended on me alone, I’d be terrified. But I know God is with me. Life has taught me that. He has been patient with me, faithful to me, and far kinder to me than I deserve.What I’m most looking forward to as a deacon is serving people in Christ’s name — helping them come to know him, walking alongside them in life, baptising people into the Body of Christ, and pointing people towards the love of God. In the end, that’s what this has always been about.God called. It took me a while to answer. But here I am.